How do I get my girlfriend to break up with me?

Q: How do I get my girlfriend to break up with me, without cheating or being a jerk? We've have been together for a few months, and already said "I love you" to each other. And the worst part [but one of the biggest reasons i wanna keep talking to her] is that I'm a big influence in her daughter's life [I've been there more than her biological father has been] and I wanna be there for her and help her grow up.

A: Sorry to break it to you, but this is one dirty job that you have to do yourself. Not only is it the right, mature thing to do, but to get her to break up with you means that you would have to act in a way that’s unbecoming and bad for you.

Acting like you’re weak, needy, or mean, may get your girlfriend to break up with you, but you’ll also likely ruin your reputation as other people will see this very unflattering side of you. Talk about backfiring!

So instead of asking, “how do i get my girlfriend to break up with me?”, you need to ask, “how do I break up with my girlfriend.

With that being said, it’s important to try to minimize the hurt and pain of breaking up with your girlfriend. Here are some tips and suggestions on how to let her down as gently, and gentlemanly, as possible…

Break Up Tips: The Critical Do’s And Don’ts

   Never, Never, NEVER break up by phone, e-mail, or instant messaging. This is not only disrespectful, but it’s the tacky, cowardly way out! Have the decency to break-up in person and in a private, or semi-private, location.

   Avoid blaming her for the break up – Think about the reasons for wanting to break up with her before-hand so you can be prepared to explain your reasons without placing blame on her.

   Are you absolutely positive that you want to breakup? If the answer is yes, be strong and don’t give in if your girlfriend begs and pleads for another chance. If you’re not 100% sure about breaking up with her, out of pity, you may give in and give her another chance. This is especially important if she starts getting very upset – which leads us to the next break up tip …

   Be ready for a wide-range of emotions and for anything she may express, for example; shock, sadness, anger, tears. From emotional outbursts, to even a total lack of emotion, be prepared for it all as best you can.

   Tell your girlfriend that you still care about her and that you hope to stay in touch with her. But, if you don’t really want to be friends with her, don’t say,”We can still be friends.” It will only end up hurting her more.

   Don’t brag to your friends that you broke up with her because the news could get around and, possibly, eventually get back to her making it even more painful.

   For a while after, it’s best not to date any of her friends, or anyone that you both know, because if you break up with this next girl, you could end up getting a bad reputation. Believe me, if you break up with 2 or more woman that hang out in the same circle of friends, word will spread faster than wildfire that you’re a player.

   Don’t take it personally if she says she hates you, call you names, or talks badly about you. After the shock of breaking up is over, your ex girlfriend may become angry and may speak badly about you. Everyone handles a break up different; if this happens to you, try not to allow it to hurt your feelings, and understand that she is still in pain.

In closing, when breaking up with your girlfriend she will experience feelings of hurt and pain – No doubt about it. The tips above are designed to help you end the relationship on good terms; Be direct and firm, yet kind and understanding.

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